Bert Fulks – Writer. Teacher. Musician. Speaker. Business Owner/Manager. Founder/Director/Knucklehead – Empty Stone Ministry.
Humble, wild-eyed follower.
Bert’s book — X-Plan Parenting: Become Your Child’s Ally–A Guide to Raising Strong Kids in a Challenging World — is NOW AVAILABLE from Simon & Schuster’s Howard Books.
Bert is a former psychology and world history teacher and a father of three. With nearly thirty years’ experience working with kids, Bert’s unique insights as a dad, educator, coach, camp leader, youth adviser, and speaker provide wisdom, understanding, and compassion to adults and kids. He splits time as a writer, musician, and speaker, and runs a veterinary practice with his wife, Laura. He is also the founder and co-director of Empty Stone Ministry, INC, a Christian non-profit that specializes in camps/retreats, small group events. Bert and his family live in Huntington, West Virginia.
Bert loves to play music, read, write, travel, camp, fish, backpack, and enjoys the simple pleasure of a good beer in his tractor’s cup-holder on a hot summer day. Lovingly referred to as “Dude” by friends, he is still learning to (among other things) abide.
At his son’s urging, Bert is also now on Twitter. Follow along! @BertFulks
You can CONTACT BERT via email – bertfulks-at-gmail-dot-com (Yeah, it’s spelled out to limit spam, but you know what to do.)
ON SALE NOW!
Very cool, Bert! I’m a fellow Fulks from Minnesota and found your page through a share on Facebook . I will share because I like your mission. Peace!
Pamela Fulks Brule
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Thanks, Pamela. I’ve been doing some genealogy research recently; perhaps I’ll find us linked up somewhere down the line.
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Hi Burt, I found the ‘X-Plan’ very interesting & have posted on my FB as think could be invaluable to some of my parent friends. Sadly for me I think it might be too late for my nearly 17yr old but would welcome any help or advice if you could please email me back, thankyou.
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Katie,
It’s never too late. Surrender to what is and don’t give up on who you know your child to be. Yes, the circumstances may be challenging and who else will love him like you do? May you and your family be blessed as you move through whatever you are confronting.
Wishing you peace
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Thankyou Suzanne for your reply & comforting words…. I will never give up on him but life is very tough & challenging right now, my nearly 17 year old son is on a very wrong path & making all the wrong choices, I’m scared for him, he’s breaking my heart & I’m powerless. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore 😪
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Suzanne, your words to Katie have spoken to my heart in such a sweet way. We have a challenging teenager and “dont give up on who you know your child to be” is just so true. The internal war we face each day between not giving up and giving up is so real and hard sometimes. I’m going to read your words each day and be encouraged. Thank you again.
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That’s beautiful, Suzanne. Thank you for your kind heart.
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Katie, thank you for sharing your heart. I sent you a private message.
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Bert, if you could send me an email, I won’t take much of your time. I need some guidance about what to try next to help my son. We’ve tried several things. I’m feeling discouraged and every day is so difficult in our home. I would be so thankful for any advice or direction on help.
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Your X-Plan is genius and so simple! I have reposted your piece and today implemented with my son who had a visible sense of relief when we discussed it. Even the kid with the best moral compass needs this, hope more parents will use. I really like in the example of the texts used, how you said ” remember who you are ,and whose you are.” important!
Thank you. I am now reading past posts and finding a lot of good tools as well.
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I’m humbled. Thank you. The “Remember who you are … and whose you are” is said to our kids every time they head off somewhere. It’s trickled down through the family (if I recall, it started with my wife’s grandparents).
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Hello-
I just came across your sweet ‘way out’ post via friends facebook posting.
I want to let you know something you may not already be aware of…Young people who deal with addictions are also probably (not always, but likely) at a genetic pre-disposition – often if they are in a household which is not supportive or aware the genes can be activated – it’s a situation called ‘epigenetics’.
As the future is ‘here’ scientifically the medical world is about 10 years behind (this is typical of all medical knowledge- it takes a decade to trickle down into practice). In the future addictions will be treated differently but the human connection is always needed to live to best of ones ablity.
Aside from support, medically and emotionally, one thing you could do to make your ministry more effective would be to become aware of genetics and how they affect these young people so you may (along with the medical folks) help the kids to be aware of their programming and how they may ALWAYS need support to manage the way they are- Reality can’t be denied but it can be managed, one just has to be aware first!
Bless you and the work you do-
Sincerely EJ
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Thank you for that, EJ. Though I function mostly in a pastoral role with these kids, I wholeheartedly agree that many areas–chemical, biological, spiritual, and social–are at play and need addressed with this devastating disease. I will certainly read up on the genetic work being done–thank you again. I’m always thrilled to expand my toolbox. Best wishes!
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I received your X-Plan way out article from a FB feed. I think it’s a wonderful idea and plan to use it with my grandson (age 9) who I am raising. His Mom, my daughter overdosed at age 30. We raised our children in a wonderful environment and never did I expect this drug addiction craze to touch my life. My son who is 29 is an addict also. He is currently incarcerated. It breaks my heart the negative choices they have made. Both of my children did not have problems in school, but after college. My purpose now is to give my grandson all the tools and information to hopefully make smart choices. Thank you!
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Debbie, thank you for your transparency. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss and struggle. I, too, have family members raising their grandchildren because of the cruelties of addiction–my heart aches with you and for you. Prayers for strength, hope, and joy.
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My oldest son is 16 and just got his license. How can we implement an x plan if he drives to a destination
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I think you could simply amend it to say “Something has happened and we need you come home as soon as possible. We will meet you at the house in X minutes.” I suppose he will have to take home any kids he brought with him or assure they get rides. Maybe the kids who rode with him would appreciate the chance to leave, too.
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So glad I found your site, Burt. I really adore your sites catchphrase: Fall. Surrender. Restore. Rise. Repeat. It certainly captures grace.
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Hi,
I would like permission to reprint this article.
Thank you,
Jennifer
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My child was in a situation yesterday where things were out of their control. They felt uncomfortable and and pressurised.
I am so thankful to have read about the X-plan through a link shared on Facebook, a link I shared and discussed with my child.
I received the text and was able to help them and bring them home safely.
Huge thanks for writing and sharing this around the world.
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I’m incredibly humbled and glad to hear that. Thank you for sharing.
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Hi Bert, I work for the BBC in the UK and would love to get an interview with you about the kids safety text message you have put in place. my e-mail is ged.mills@bbc.co.uk. If you would be interested, we are hoping to run this story tomorrow.
Thank you
Ged
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Bumping to make sure that Bert sees this message. Imagine how the X Plan can help save the lives and mental health of children and young adults in the UK, especially after reading about the ‘grooming gangs’ preying on young girls.
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Hi Bert — a number of your blog readers have pointed out how my recently released self-published novel, a satire on public education and dedicated to school teachers, is a great companion piece to your excellent “Why Teachers Suck…” I’m a retired English teacher (and musician), and I wrote The Modest Achievements of Meddleton High as both a political statement and entertainment for both teachers and the general public alike. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the success of the novel, which is available on Amazon, despite having only word-of-mouth promotion. Could I interest you in a free copy? If you’d like to check it out, please go to https://www.amazon.com/author/michaelbuchta to see a blurb and reviews. The novel is humorous and dark, and very timely. I can also be reached on Facebook.
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Dear Bert,
I just read your “X Plan” post. It is excellent and terribly needed today, as you know. I am concerned because there are many moms who read my blog and may not even know about this because they are so busy raising their family and keeping their home together. I also shared Mr. Prince’s story a year ago and many had not heard of grooming: https://deeprootsathome.com/child-grooming-true-story/
I would like to ask permission to repost it as a guest post with a whole new title so it won’t mess with your SEO. I write Deep Roots at Home as a women’s and family ministry and homemaking blog.
I would need a profile pic and short bio which I could take from your blog if you give permission. I would link back to your blog at top and bottom of your post on DRAH and put it on my social media feeds.
I am usually getting 35-40K per day but am in the summer slump at 14-16k. Still, you will likely get some extra traffic.
Thank you for your time and consideration, and thank you for what you do.
Sincerely,
Jacqueline
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